Did you ever hear some one say, "That's B.S."?

In case you didn't know what they were talking about, "B.S." stands for "Bull Shit". Apparently, this is a way of saying, "bad information" or "so not true". When I was younger, I never understood that saying, so I just wanted to get it out there in case YOU needed help and were afraid to ASK. YES!!!

Also, if anyone says that they have a "B.S." in Business, they are TOTALLY joking around with you. Apparently they are using "B.S." in place of "B.A." and they are trying to be funny. I never really got it, but I laugh, just in case I'm missing something.

ANYWAYS, I use this term "B.S." a lot, BUT when I use it, I mean "Big Shit". For instance:

"Hey, sorry to interrupt, but I can feel a "B.S." brewing in the chambers and need to leave for fifteen minutes."

So if you hear ME say this, do not confuse it with a "B.A.", because I don't think anyone could get a Bachelor of Arts degree in just fifteen mintues! Not even Stephen Hawking!

The Origin Of Orange Juice

Don’t think for one fucking minute that orange juice is called orange juice because it’s orange in color and it comes from an orange. I discovered the truth and I’m here to right a wrong.

In 1846, Pasco County, Florida, a poor orange farmer by the name of Henry Oren came up with the idea of crushing oranges and collecting their “juice” into containers. Upon drinking this “juice” he soon realized that this could easily be marketed. He started by setting up a makeshift stand in front of his farm and sold the drink under the name “Oren’s Juice”. Unfortunately, due to his economic position, Oren was limited to local sales only.

One day, a wealthy city businessman by the name of Bobby Tropicana happened to drive by Oren’s little farm and try a glass of “Oren’s Juice”. And he loved it. Tropicana immediately butchered Oren and his family and stole the secret recipe for “Oren’s Juice”. To cover up any connection between he and Oren, Tropicana changed the name of the drink to “Orange Juice”. It still had that same snappy zeal that the original name boasted of, but this drink would be the drink to go down in history as everyone’s favorite fruit drink. Bobby Tropicana even named his company “Tropicana” to further distance himself from the Oren family name.

May you burn in hell Bobby Tropicana. May you burn in hell!

"Quickkick" G.I. Joe Guy Needs New Name

I always liked this action figure, but I NEVER liked his name. I think that a name should really describe what you’re known for. Like, "Greatkick", "Koolkick" or "Neatkick".

Now THOSE are awesome names, YES!!!

Sure, "quick" is a fast word describing the potential of this guy's kick, but in these dark (and very harsh) days, words mean different things. ESPECIALLY now that we have QUICKTIME. I know that this guy's name was created in the '80's, but they should not have stuck with his name. Too many fans are going to think he's into computer stuff now, like "Mainframe". SEE? THAT name doesn't need to change because it's STILL RELEVANT! But "Quickkick's" name is too confusing because of Quicktime. At least I’m confused as hell about this.

Now I'm sure that I'm going to have TONS of Mac enthusiasts all over my butt for this one, and I SWEAR, I am not tackling Macintosh products, I'm just saying that Quicktime has a stigma attached to it, and that may not be appropriate for a kicking master!

I'm sticking with "NEATKICK".

Cute As A Button?

Okay, stop everything you’re doing because I am gonna set things straight! Did you ever hear someone say, “Oh, that baby is as cute as a button”? Well, let’s look at the comparison of a button to a baby, shall we? First off, I’ve never wiped a button’s ass after it dropped a shit bomb all over the crib. And second, I’ve never tried to sew a baby to my shirt. See? ‘Nuff said. By the way, I’m go over to Murray’s tea party at noon…should I go stripes or solids?